Life must be going on…

24 February 2008/ Sunday. I started my day with smiles drawing on my face until I got a phone call from my eldest sister early in the morning. Suddenly, no more smiley face, but a very sad face with tears. She gave me very shocked news. I will never forget the date as long as I live in this temporary world. On that date, my second brother, 23 years old was involved in a car crash, which claimed his life. None of my family members thought that we would lose somebody in our family.

I was in the campus when I received the news. Immediately I packed my belongings and took the bus. I am unintentionally left my hand phone in the room and nobody able to contact me. I waited my eldest brother at Puduraya bus station. We bought two tickets to Malacca where my uncle waiting for us. He then brought us to our home at Johor. Thanks a lot to him and his family. If not, we will miss to see our late brother for the last moment. We reached surau during zuhr prayer. My eldest bother led the jenazah prayer. I hug my parents and my other siblings. They inspire me to be courage to face this fate

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I still remember that I am too busy with my study and social works. Due to my pack schedule, I had sacrificed my mid break just because of my commitment to complete my assignments and preparation for exams. I sacrificed my holiday with family in village just because of that. As replacement, I will always call my parents to calm my homesick. However, I realized then that it was not enough. Sometimes, I would blame myself. I am blaming myself as I feel I have put my family in the second place.

I am extremely sad; my tears drop just like rainy days. Only by crying, I would calm my day. Now, I realized time never waiting for someone. When it passed, it will never come back. Therefore, I have to go through this with courage. After that day, I am not well performing in my study in that particular semester. Additionally, I try to get rid of my social works even I love it very much. It takes time for me to live my life as usual.

Now is Ramadhan and Syawal is waiting. My sadness cannot be controlled. I still remember the moment of his last breath saved in the video. His face was very calm, as he never suffered from terrible pain. I still remember the last kiss before he had been buried. When I am going back to village, my eyes cannot see the place where the accident occurred. When I am at home, he just likes everywhere, but he did not. I try not to cry in reality, but from the bottom of my heart….Allah knows very well. When I miss him, I will see his picture in my purse. I feel very hard to tell my sadness to my friends…but I will groan my sadness to Allah S.W.T in my du’a and I will achieve a very peaceful heart and mind. Now, every time when holiday, I will always going back and sometimes, I will visit his grave.

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After more than two years the event happens, I have gone through my life with courage. Now, I have made ‘come back’ where I am now actively involves in my beloved social works in addition to my life as student in IIUM. I should not blame myself of what had happened, as it is Allah’s fate. As Muslim, I should not question Him, as He is the All-Knowing of everything. However, I must accept it with open heart, as I firmly believed that there must be wisdom behind it and yes, it is.

Besides, Allah has mentioned in the Holy Qur’an that He will test humankind to see whether we are truly God-Fearing (Taqwa) person, patience or not. Nonetheless, it really needs self-determinism and high self-esteem. Thanks to my experience in doing social works for giving me the strength. One more thing, family and peers support are very vital to ensure we manage to curb our sadness positively.

In conclusion, there are several ways to curb the sadness based on my readings and personal experience, which are-

• Always believe that what happens in our life, there must be wisdom behind it. We just need to think and wait with patience
• Never blame selves, but make an improvement for the life betterment in the future. The life in this world is a learning process; it will never stop until our last breath.
• Involve in positive social activities to gain self-optimism and determinism that are the key of personal strengths. As a result, we will see problems as life challenges that benefit ourselves.
• Share the sadness to other people close to us like family members and peer group. It will help us to reduce the unseen pain in the heart.
• Read Al-Ma’thurat everyday (morning and evening) and go to religious classes, as they are the source of spiritual and emotional strengths. Both strengths are more important than physical strength to live life to the fullest.
• The most important thing, firmly believe that Allah tests humans for the benefit of themselves. Additionally, when He tests us, we should get closer and closer to Him. Towards the end, we will attain peace that is the key of successful life both world and hereafter.

My final point is whatever happens in our life, we should never give up, but life must be going on…