TEENS VS LOVE VS PROMISCUITY

Recently, KOSMO has disclosed to the publics about disgusting and irresponsible franchises which sold openly sexual toys and gadgets in the name of souvenirs at popular shopping complexes like in Berjaya Times Square et cetera. Sadly, many of their customers are schooling teenagers. What a real shame! This is an indicator about how serious moral delinquency among our teens which I prefer to label them as ‘sex-addiction patience’ that needs ‘antibiotics’ as soon as possible.

Therefore, in this entry, I would like to write about teenagers and sexuality. I know, it’s quite taboo to talk such topic in this blog. (Honestly speaking, my face’s skin tone turns to reddish due to embarrassment of talking about this issue publicly). However, my pure intention of this writing is to open up our mind to understand and to comprehend current scenario in Malaysia which involves our lovely future and young generation who are drowning in their own lusts. They need help by the way!

Teens and sexuality issues have been discussed extensively in America. This is because; the sex addiction among their teens is at the risky level. There are many out-of-wedlock pregnancy cases among American teen girls under 25 years old and their male partners are also within that particular age. It is also significantly to note that negative consequences of promiscuity (seks rambang) among teens in America have increased over the past few decades.

• The teen birthrate in the United States is the highest of any industrialized nation, nearly twice as great as that of the United Kingdom and 15 times that of Japan.
• 1 million teenage girls get pregnant each year. Of that, approximately 40% will receive government assistance.
• 33,000 people contract an STD (sexual-related diseases) everyday. Approximately 2/3 are under the age of 25.
• 50% of the sexually active single adult population has, or will have, at least 1 STD in their lifetime.
• AIDS is the leading killer of Americans between the ages of 25 and 44.
• Nearly 40 million surgical abortions have been performed in America since 1973.
• Illegitimate births have increased 400% since 1963, the historical date that marks the beginning of the sexual revolution…(as cited from Lakita Garth, 2003, p. 115)

The above facts catch my attention while typing this article. I can’t imagine what will happen to our country if this terrible scenario infects our teens if no proactive and consistent actions are taken by all parties. (Na’uzubillah min zalik).

Teenage sexuality can be explained in terms of biological and psychological aspects. Biologically speaking, during the age of 13 to 25 years old, teenage sexuality is under a peak development. After puberty phase, teens will experience physical and emotional changes. During this phase, their sexual instinct arouses naturally but it’s still under individual self-control. However, there are some teens who cannot control their sexual desires and thus involve in many sensual activities to fulfill their lust like watching porn films, buying sexual toys, promiscuity and lots more that are clearly prohibited in all religions and violating moral conduct.

That is why; teens need to be taught how to cope with such sexual development within the right and permissible means. If they do not get the right information, they may easily trapped into sex addiction. The matter becomes worst when some irresponsible people take advantage on them by selling sexual playthings to fulfill the sexual needs of the teens and making profits out of that.

Furthermore, psychologically speaking, we need to understand that the teen-age is actively love seeker. If they fall in love to beneficial activities such as seeking knowledge, social works business and others, it is far better than just okay. But, today’s scenario, it is almost impossible. They narrow down the love-scope to romantic relationship barely between male and female. For them, that is love all about.

In addition, for some teenagers who could not find loves in home/ family, they are likely to spend almost of their precious times with their mixed-gender peer groups. They enjoy every minutes hanging out together in clubs, discos, shopping complexes, cyber cafés, where at the end trigger to the intimacy relationship. Thus, they start ‘dating’ to each other as for them it is love.
Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love (as cited from Harris J., 2001, p.48). Many teens consider ‘love’ and ‘sex’ as interchangeable, and that is why we shouldn’t be surprised that many dating relationships mistake physical attraction and sexual intimacy for true love. (Harris, 2001).

According to Harris (2001), physical involvement can make two people feel close. But, if many people in dating relationships really examined the focus of their relationships they’d probably discover that all they have in common is LUST…

Undeniable, this issue is complex as it involves many factors rather than only biological and psychological facet. After all, we can’t put all blame on teens solely. Each and every one; family, educational institutions, religious institutions, peer groups, media, franchises, NGOs, political parties, and the government all play significant roles to prevent this scenario -promiscuity and sex addiction among adolescences- to happen.

In a nutshell, our teens must get right direction to have a healthy lifestyle. Promiscuity among teens must be avoided as nothing benefits are resulted from such ‘eeerrrrkkkk’ behavior. They should be exposed how serious of such harmful lifestyle to their future. Additionally, such behavior is prohibited by all religions. As ‘Da’I in Islam, we should not be a judge, but try to help them to find the true path in life as mankind. All of us are responsible to lead them to walk out from their own ‘dark’ age (is referred to problematic teens). They should be guided to have a goal in life and work for that within the framework of God-consciousness (rasa bertuhan).

p/s:

• The Authority has taken appropriate action to stop those irresponsible franchises from selling sexual toys after KOSMO revealed the issue to the knowledge of the publics several days ago and even PKPIM also took an initiative in response to this issue.

• The Ministry of Education is still doing a thorough research on proposed policy about teaching a sex education in school.

• To my brothers and sisters in Islam, love is not sex and lust. Love is all about long-term and everlasting commitment as the Caliph in this world.

References;

Garth L. (2003). Abstinence-Only Sex Education Can Reduce Teenage Pregnancy. In Teenage Pregnancy: Opposing Viewpoints edited by Ojeda A. Greenhaven and Thomson Learning.

Harris J. (2001). Dating Influences Teen Attitudes toward Sex. In Teenage Sexuality: OpposingViewpoints edited by Roleff. T.L. California: Greenhaven Press, Inc.